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Joy is not a burden

Posted by coffeemates | 11/20/09

I’m writing my Thanksgiving piece a week early because I know everyone’s busy getting ready for the holidays with travel to see family, or have family visit. And if you don’t have plans for Thanksgiving, I know you’re looking forward to some down time.

I sense fatigue in everyone at this time of year. It shows in people’s body language. Not least, people are fighting off illness and finding that extra gear to prepare for and get through the holidays.

The longer I live in the United States, the more I appreciate Thanksgiving...

CATEGORY: General Society

TAGS: Thanksgiving, appreciate the joy in your life

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A Jack of all Trades and the Master of none

Posted by coffeemates | 11/10/09

We live in a culture of competition where the best of the best are celebrated.

There’s nothing wrong with striving to be the best, but it leaves little room to be average. And more importantly feel good about being average.

Average means you’re neither the virtuoso musician nor the artist showing at the Met in New York. You’re neither the mathematics whiz who earned the millions nor the latest hot designer wowing the runways in London and Paris. And you’re neither a Heisman Trophy winner nor a gold medalist. Average isn’t sexy.

I grew up comparing myself to the best and found myself wanting, even though I worked hard at my studies, went to university, got decent jobs and applied myself to each position...

CATEGORY: Commentary & Debate

TAGS: Average, Average as enpowering, Culture of excellence, A Jack of all Trades and the Master of none, Suze Orman and do average great

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A Change of Heart

Posted by coffeemates | 11/03/09

I hate autumn -- that is until now. Autumn was the dreaded finale to glorious summer days and a preview to the long months of winter. It was as if I skipped the season altogether and was already in the depths of winter.

As a child, autumn ended my freedom and heralded the start of change. It also summoned yet another birthday. I dreaded autumn more as each year rolled by and my depression levels worsened.

Whenever friends waxed lyrical about colder nights, sweaters and hot chocolate, I felt like a party pooper wanting to go home early!

This year of all years with all the changes that have happened to me I have come to see autumn differently...

CATEGORY: Commentary & Debate

TAGS: autumn, fall, Halloween, candy

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We Are Heroes

Posted by coffeemates | 10/25/09

You know the moment when words from a poem or a song match your mood, or they are the catalyst for some personal observations?

Well, it happened to me again in my car on my way to pick up my daughter from pre-school.

It was a beautiful afternoon with a balmy temperature of 80 degrees in the car and I was enjoying the fall scenery on route.

I love this weather. Sorry friends in Albany and the N.E. Dearly though I love you, I saw the snow on TV as the Titans played the Patriots at Foxboro. I remember how early cold weather can be an indicator of many months of winter weather ahead...

CATEGORY: General Society

TAGS: Wind Beneath my Wings, Bette Midler, Beaches, hero, success

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Wanting what you’ve got

Posted by coffeemates | 10/07/09

Do you know the song “Soak up the Sun” by Sheryl Crow? I heard it again on the radio and two lines set off bells in my head – one of those “light bulb” moments.

The words are: “It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got.”

Let me give you an example of something that often happens to me here and then explain why the words of Crow’s song resonated with me.

When people ask me who I am and where I’m from, a typical scenario goes like this: “You’re Chinese? But you’re not from China...

CATEGORY: Commentary & Debate

TAGS: Birthday, accepting your circumstances, changing your mindset to love your situation, moving and loneliness

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October 2nd - My Special Day

Posted by coffeemates | 10/02/09

October 2nd is my birthday. Let’s just say I’m 21, again. I share my birthday with a number of luminaries, among them Sting (one of my favorite performers) and Mahatma Gandhi (an inspiration).

Did you know that October 2nd is designated as the International Day of Non-Violence in honor of Gandhi’s life? As someone who really wants world peace as corny as that sounds I’m proud my birthday is International Day of Non-Violence.

I’m telling you it’s my birthday, not because I want to hog the limelight and bask in good wishes – well, maybe a little – but because I want to share with you how I feel from my heart and how far I’ve come emotionally this year.

Truthfully, it’s been a tough year for me with moving to a new city...

CATEGORY: General Society

TAGS: Birthday, attitudes to birthdays, October 2nd, International Day of Non-Violence

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When does a handshake become a hug?

Posted by coffeemates | 09/29/09

My latest blog (09/17/09) on inviting friends over for dinner struck a nerve with many people.

And, in the interest of keeping alive the custom of dining at home with friends, we invited new friends, Alyssa, Mark and their children around for dinner on Saturday night.

It was one of those delightful evenings – the best kind – where large amounts of food, conversation and laughter flowed unreservedly.

One of our many conversations touched upon the question of what it means to entertain friends...

CATEGORY: Commentary & Debate

TAGS: Handshake versus Hugs, dinner party, entertaining friends, good news versus bad news

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