feeds
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted anything. A death in the family, sad news from friends, health issues, the children’s busy schedules, and the usual day-to-day mayhem, otherwise known as the family routine. What can I say – these things exhausted my limited supply of energy.
It’s my mother’s birthday and I wish her all manner of wonderful things. Above all, I want to acknowledge my mother. Acknowledge the courage it took, all those years ago, for her to move to a new country, so different to everything she had known. Acknowledge that she worked hard every day, along with my father, to provide opportunities, so that we could eventually create the lives that we have now.
My mother was a pioneer in the UK and, likewise, I see myself as a pioneer in the United States; the first in my family to live here. But being a pioneer doesn’t take away the guilt of not being able to be with my mother on her birthday. For as much as being adventurous can create new opportunities, it can also demand sacrifices, like being oceans away from family.
But, in honor of my mother, I won’t be sad. She wouldn’t want me to be.
It’s springtime and the recent warm weather is like an old friend who’s been away for far too long. I hope it’s nice and warm where you are.
My children have enjoyed their play time in the park and Easter egg hunts in the lovely April sunshine.
Having thrown away the cloak of winter gray, certain things look shabby in the sunlight, like my weed-infested lawns! And I can no longer hide behind the coverage of baggy sweaters as I’m forced to exchange those for more close fitting spring clothes.
Driving today in glorious spring sunshine, I saw an older gentleman – he must have been in his sixties – in a helmet, knee and elbow pads roller skating down the road. I waved from my car and he waved back with a big grin on his face, happy and enjoying his exercise.
I thought how nice to see him roller skate. The sad fact is, in our society, the image of a “roller skater dude” is reserved for the young. When did fun sports become the domain of the young? And as we get older, don’t we ourselves judge our peers who do these things as irresponsible? My goodness, what if he had gotten hurt roller skating!
So much of what we do is regulated by society. Take my weed-infested lawns, for example. I live in a sub-division and that means there’s no room for individuality and a few weeds. Instead, there’s the law of conformity and the pressure to have identical, manicured green lawns. But that’s living in a sub-division for you.
Don’t get me wrong – before you label me an anarchist, subversive or insurrectionist for advocating a few weeds – I know society has to have strict rules for law and order, but so much of the time we get sucked into the unwritten rules of expectations and comparisons that we’re afraid to say what’s really on our minds, or do something that defies the norm.
When was the last time you asked someone, “How are you?” and stopped to listen to the real answer and not just expect to hear the cursory “fine” and “okay”? When was the last time you opened out to someone and told them how you really felt for fear of being judged as being less than?
Will you judge me for not saying, “I’m fine” and for admitting that my spring clothes make me look shabby, and how I hate the women’s magazines for making me feel old? Why can’t our society accept the many different ages, shapes and sizes we have instead of idolizing the cult of thin and young?
According to the most recent statistics on body image I could find, we definitely give in to expectations and comparisons.
A 1995 study found that three minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused seven out of ten women to feel depressed, guilty, and ashamed.
The average U.S. woman is 5’4” and weighs 140 pounds, whereas the average U.S. model is 5’11” and weighs 117 pounds.
The average size of the “ideal” woman, as portrayed by models, has become progressively thinner over the years and has stabilized at around 20 per cent below the average weight.
One out of three women and one out of four men are on a diet at any given time.
How do we stop obsessing and just enjoy life; to be that older gentleman defying the norm and roller skating down the road?
Yours in need of a good pep talk,
SUSAN S. CHEUNG
Susan is a writer originally from London, England. She moved to Nashville, Tenn. in July 2008 when her husband accepted a position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
The family relocated after eight years in Guilderland, New York. And now they’ve made their home in Franklin, Tenn., where she is currently dealing with her weed-infested lawns!
