feeds
It’s a cliché I know when people say, “Live life to the fullest.” We hear it often enough and it does jolt us into action – well, for a day, or two. We feel good about it right until the minutiae of our lives take over and we start to complain again about daily frustrations.
This weekend, I got a reminder about living life from a friend who had just lost her best friend after her ten month battle with leukemia leaving behind a young family. A tragic and unfair situation.
While it’s understandable to moan about life – we’re human after all – sad news like this makes us pause.
I’ve been thinking about what living life to the full means to me.
As someone interested in cooking and eating, I decided I needed my own recipe for life, for the moments when things are just too much.
RECIPE FOR DAILY LIFE:
Fall in love with my husband every day, but especially at the times when he’s dismissive, insensitive, or has forgotten something important. I have to remember that feeling of rightness of being together in the first place.
Fall in love with my children when they’re bickering, fighting over something, or just plain getting on my nerves. Then I have to remember why I wanted to have children and be very thankful I could have children.
Fall in love with my siblings and extended family, even though they seem to forget my existence being so far away. But because of that distance, I need to work hard to connect with them.
Fall in love with my friends, particular if there’s true friendship and they’ve gone into a “cocoon,” as one friend put it, and haven’t been in touch for a while.
Never hold on to regrets; let them go. I imagine wrapping up my regrets in some fancy paper and ceremoniously floating them away into distance memory. Regrets have nothing to do with the present and what’s real and true.
Always apologize if I’m angry with my loved ones. Nine times out of ten it’s my stuff going on – not theirs!
And always be vocal with my gratitude.
I’m grateful for my health prognosis from a recent procedure that negates future surgery.
I’m grateful to have my husband and children, and I hug them every chance I can.
I’m grateful for my parents, siblings and extended family. I try to vocalize this, even if I don’t see them often.
I’m grateful for my network of friends. When you’re far from family, your friends become your substitute family. I’ll always show through words and deeds how much I appreciate my friends, be they in the UK, Capital District, NY, Tennessee, or somewhere else across the world.
Having friends scattered in different places requires me to:
A) Be connected. I’m part of a wider community and, if I’m suffering, I can be sure others are too. I never dismiss a chat over a cup of coffee with a troubled friend as it’s one small way I may be of assistance.
B) Communicate and listen. No matter that we live in a society of advanced technology and we have 24/7 Internet access and hand-held, wireless devices like they’re toys, there’s no substitute for personal, substantial and meaningful communication. And really listen to what people say – not with one ear to the phone and the other part of your attention reading your text messages, or texting.
To truly live life in the wider society means you have to be curious about your surrounds. I hope I live my life with tolerance and openness, ready to ask questions and debate, while respecting other people’s differences and opinions, and a belief we live as world citizens and not isolationists. I hope I bring up my children with a sense of justice, fairness, tolerance and a willingness to stand up for those who cannot do so for themselves.
Lastly, although you give to others, don’t forget to feed your soul. By that, I don’t mean dark chocolate, although an ounce a day is good for memory! I mean do the things you love that make you feel good and be strong in a powerful way. For me, it involves my need to write, great conversations, the arts, movies, books, world news and exploring issues, and having harmony around me.
When you put these elements, these ingredients together, what do you get?
An amazing dish of life. I want to live long enough to see man land on Mars and beyond, but however long my life may be, I aim never to forget my recipe for living life every day proud of my skin and not hiding my light under any bush.
So what was your weekend like? Mine was filled with great ingredients. Time with my family, including taking my daughter to gymnastics and my son to soccer, taking them to the library and reading together, and fun stuff like going out for ice cream.
When we sit down for dinner, my daughter always asks, “Are we having a feast?” My answer is “Yes, we are” because it doesn’t get better than this, having real moments and connections with loved ones.
And I didn’t forget to feed my soul either this weekend as I chatted to some girlfriends and worked front of house at a community theater and, in turn, watched a good production.
I hope your weekend was equally as enjoyable. I hope you send me your recipe for life to put in my daily cookery book.
SUSAN S. CHEUNG
Susan is a writer originally from London, England. She moved to Nashville, Tenn. in July 2008 when her husband accepted a position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
The family relocated after eight years in Guilderland, New York. And now they’ve made their home in Franklin, Tenn., where she is tackling motherhood one kids’ sport at a time!
