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Do you ever have those moments when questions and issues bombard your thoughts? They escape of their own accord.
Well, I didn’t just have a moment; I had one of those weekends. Come on… Some of you know what I’m talking about.
After the month we’ve had in Nashville, I have to give credit to neighbors and citizens, who came together during and after the May 1st-3rd floods – a 1000-year event in middle Tennessee – to rescue, recovery, clean up, fund raise and donate.
I saw so much heart, so much giving, that I changed my perceptions of my new hometown.
I’ve been feeling low. I think I suffered some kind of post flood stress – call it survivor guilt, if you will. Although my house was spared from the rising waters, many of my neighbors and the neighborhoods around were not so fortunate. It was hard to witness misery and misfortune.
Throughout this trying time, the generosity of people shone through. Here, I must acknowledge my friends and the readers of my blog in the Capital District, New York, and elsewhere, who’ve given abundantly to the plight of complete strangers at their moment of great need.
So, we’ve just had Memorial weekend, the unofficial start of the summer season. How was your weekend?
While we may think: “Yeah… summer fun and getaways,” the reality of the world we live in with its profound sadness – from the massive oil spill in the Gulf (an ecological disaster) to a deadly air crash in India – is not a world in which we can be innocently happy.
Even today, I’m saddened to learn about the tragedy that unfolded in Cumbria in north-west England, where a gunman went on a rampage and shot dead twelve people and injured eleven more before killing himself. This is the worst mass shooting in the UK since 1996. Innocent people died and there’s no explanation as to motive.
In the face of such terrible circumstances, it’s a wonder we can have any happy thoughts at all. In any case, as adults, we’re overtaken by responsibilities and cares – it’s an invisible second skin around us, rather like plastic wrap.
But, then I watch my children play in the yard with their bubble sticks, chasing the bubbles floating in the air. I see and feel their enjoyment of a simple and open moment, and it becomes a life lesson for me.
I’m reminded that we need to keep happiness and joy in our hearts, and keep hopefulness and a positive attitude alive, or else what’s there to live for?
There’ll always be negative things in our world – natural disasters, fatal mistakes and human destruction – but, if we can’t enjoy the simple pleasures within our daily practices, family and community, what’s the point of it all?
That’s not to say we stick our heads in the sand and forget the horrors. I’d like to believe our natural compassion would reach out beyond our locales and offer aid where we can.
Really, the issue of happiness has kept me awake this past weekend. What does happiness/joyfulness even mean? How do we maintain its freshness in our lives? Or does it automatically dissipate with daily responsibilities?
What else is on my mind?
I’ve been playing around with Facebook. After years of resistance and persuasion from friends, I’ve caved in and opened an account.
In just a few short weeks, I’ve “friended” over 60 people. While I enjoy looking at friends’ photos, I question whether we can really communicate to any depth on social networking sites.
New reports show that many people feel lonely, in spite of having many “friends” or “followers” on social networking sites.
To me, these sites are good for connecting with people from around the world, but only up to a certain point. They allow for pleasantries and superficial observations, but can we really use them to make deeper connections?
Have these sites replaced personal one-on-one connections in an age where we communicate 24/7 in 140 characters to everyone in the universe?
Part of my resistance to Facebook has been my annoyance when people direct me to their Facebook accounts to catch up on their news, instead of a more personal phone call, chatty email, or meet up for coffee. And do people even hand write letters anymore?
Think about it; are your home phones silent? When was the last time you spent an evening on the phone catching up with friends? Is chatting to someone on the phone too 20th Century now?
As someone who’s made big moves across continents and states for the past 10 years, I’m particularly sensitive to maintaining my friendships. At the back of my mind, with each move, I think about whether people will really make the effort to stay in touch.
I’ve always tried to keep a balanced attitude about my friendships – getting to know people locally and still keep an open and regular dialogue with people from the places I’ve lived. But, is this realistic? Or, is the old adage right – out of sight is out of mind?
Practically, with the day-to-day realities of life, it’s easier to socialize with people, who live a short distance from you, than it is to maintain a long distant correspondence and friendship. It takes perseverance and motivation to stay in touch with friends further away, and, over time, the friendship often dissolves into the annual Christmas card relationship.
But, before you send me messages concerning my state of mind, please don’t worry, I’m perfectly fine. Really, I promise.
I think it’s good to reflect. I believe, through our contemplations, we move forward. And just to prove to you it’s not just serious topics I think about, here’s one to get your head around.
We’re now in the season of “grilling out,” which to me is as American as it gets. When I go to backyard barbeques, I’ll often bring my own veggie burgers, not because I distrust the food, but I don’t eat beef and, invariably, burgers and sausages served are made of beef.
So, tell me why is it that vegetable/soy products are always made into the shape of their meat counterparts? Why not have veggie carrot shapes or triangles to put into a bun?
And, finally, I leave you with a joyful story, for the child that’s still in all of us… I hope.
My son is obsessed with “Star Wars” and has numerous Lego sets he’s made into gun ships and star cruisers.
My poor daughter is often roped into enacting battles with said gun ships. On one such occasion during the weekend, I overheard their conversation that went something like this:
Daughter: “The enemy is coming! Fire the TORTILLAS!!”
Me: My mind immediately raced to rapid fire guacamole, lettuce, tomato and sour cream pelting through the universe.
Son: “It’s not tortillas, it’s TORPEDOES!!”
Me: Pinch myself to stop laughing. Honestly, I prefer the flying guacamole version… Sour cream, anyone!
SUSAN S. CHEUNG
Susan is a writer originally from London, England. She moved to Nashville, Tenn. in July 2008 when her husband accepted a position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
The family relocated after eight years in Guilderland, New York. And now they’ve make their home in Franklin, Tenn., where she’s trying to keep her children occupied through the long, hot summer.
